Avoid names, insults, put-downs or swearing-in. If you drop off your partner or criticize your partner`s character, it shows a disregard for his dignity. In sport, there are many rules that prevent one player from intentionally injuring another. Marriage and relationships must be governed by similar rules. If you deliberately hurt your partner, it is as if you were saying, “You are not safe with me. I will do everything in my power to protect myself or win. Unfortunately, the need for rules in the world of sport is obvious, but it is often forgotten when trying to resolve family conflicts. This is one of the reasons why some spouses prefer to have a root channel rather than conflict – they have seen too many occasions when marital arguments resembled playing American football in full contact without a referee, without safety equipment and without the obligation of a number of rules. Below are some of the ground rules that will help ensure that your disagreements are not firmly entrenched or destructive. This can be difficult if you think that other people`s views are irrational or simply unfair.
But remember, he or she may think the same about you and your ideas. This will only work if they are willing to give each other the opportunity to participate and express their point of view with openness and willingness to listen carefully. You`ve set the ground rules. They identified the conflict from the point of view of others. Now you are ready for the creative part looking for solutions that you think will make you both happy. I know this may seem impossible if you and your partner have drifted into incompatibility. But the rise to compatibility has to start somewhere, and if you think about it, you`ll think about options you both like. One of the most harmful things you can do to a small child is to fight in front of her. Children feel they have little control over their environment, and when their parents fight, they are easily overwhelmed – it`s as if their whole world is falling apart.
In addition, they tend to believe that they are somehow responsible for their parents` disagreements, which can lead to an unhealthy cycle of self-embarrassment. Children, who often witness their parents` struggles, may find it difficult to adapt to society and have difficulty making friends, the study says. It is the way couples deal with their disagreements that create or break a relationship. When, at the beginning of a meeting, the moderator explains the basic rules that offer the presenter a perfect opportunity to explain his philosophy, style and general expectations for the meeting. Try to post these rules on the door of your refrigerator and make reference to them daily. Recognize them in memory and agree to live on them if you have a disagreement. If you both commit to these rules, you will notice a significant and positive change in the way you “fight.” With exercise and perseverance, your disagreements may not even resemble struggles, but discussions. It will be easier to find solutions.
In particular, these rules will help you contain your arguments so that they do not harm your relationship. If you know that a meeting will be controversial, the ground rules can be particularly helpful. The basic principles are guidelines that participants keep in mind; expected at the meeting. Explain it aloud: “I think we both agree… Let the other person confirm this before disagreeing. If the discussion gets heated or you turn away from the subject, you can bring the other person back to the community and restore what you agreed on. For some people, rules like this represent a totally different type of struggle than they have been exposed to in their families of origin. Many spouses grew up in homes where shouting, accusations, names and fingers were seen as normal methods of dealing with disagreements. Such methods seem normal when they are so frequent and we are not exposed to another model for dealing with disagreements.